Quail's Quotations

A rousing big THANK YOU to all of you, to all the Fegs who attended the party, who sent us things in the mail, and who called up and filled my voicemail with oddly but cheerfully accented voices. Overall it was a delightful success, and I for one am pleased to finally make the acquaintance of many wonderful Fegs. I have thrown a lot of parties in my life as a gallinaceous bird, but rarely have I ever seen such a group of kind, helpful, generous people. Thank you so *much*! As a matter of fact, the next day Bayard mentioned throwing a winter cabin Fegparty in Virginia, sometime in Decemeber. We also talked a lot about making FegFest an annual event, perhaps rotating around the country . . . For instance, FegFest 99 might be held in Chicago, at Susan Dodge's grandmother's house. I would love to write a full account of the event, and perhaps in a few days I will, if I get the time. But for now, let me jusy say a few things: 1. Someone left a grey longsleeved shirt. It smells vaguely of squid. Chris? 2. Someone also left the fragments of their sanity. Oddly enough, they look just like tinfoil sculptures of Cthulhu. 3. And EVERYONE left *all* the L. Ron Hubbard books I handed out as party favors! Really! Did you all have to follow Dave Lang's warning so closely? L. Ron is our *friend* -- say it over and over again. . . . And in regards to Mr. Lang's warning, surely none of us saw strangely T-shirted drunkards with tape decks, now did we? 4. Those Fegs who went to the Thoth Fire Circle by the Miskatonic River - -- check yourself for ticks. I found one on my clothing the next day! (If you do find a tick, sent it to Scary Mary. She collects them.) 5. To the callers -- Mr. Dignan and the BritFestFegs -- thanks for calling! I'm sorry we didn't get to the phone, but things were, um, a wee bit chaotic throughout May 23-24, and apparently someone had unplugged the ringer on my phone! But here's the really strange thing, Mr. Godwin -- seriously! -- all next day I was humming "The Gnome" BEFORE I heard your message! Weird, innit? And Nick -- was that really your accent, or were you just pretending to be a football hooligan to fit in? (And for the record, James Dignan does say "G'day mate!") 6. Tom -- My potted plant misses you, and wants to know when you'll be back for another dance. And I would also like to thank you for installing that secret 456 MHz processor into my Macintosh! And tell your friends that they are welcome in Fegworld anytime, they were wonderful. And Gene, I'm sorry if I said you looked like Morrisey. I meant, um, MorriSON, yeah, as in Jim Morrison, the sexy virile youthful rock and roll god... 7. Momento Department: LJ has taken on the solemn duty of scanning in certain objects of partyphernalia, such as a few letters and Eddie's Enigmatic Envelope, which was quite the unexpected attraction. Doug has already posted some of his pictures, and Natalie has promised another group of scanned in pictures to follow. Mike Runion took more video footage than Pamela and Tommy Lee, and God only knows what he'll do with that... 8. The Mixed Tapes: So . . . .who got whose mixed tapes? I know that Natalie got Mary's, LJ got Gene's, I got Woj's, and Professor Fane got Jon Fetter's. I'm personally curious who snagged the others? 9. To those who mailed in things, listed in order of receiving them: (a) James, your Kiwi served us in good stead, and we made sure that it was always at the heart of the party, beaming its antipodeal benevolence at us. Um, the game seemed really really interesting and, er, complex -- which is why we *should* have played it at the BEGINNING of the evening when we all understood the rules. Next time we will play this while the majority of us are still in a shape to recall who Robyn Hitchcock really *is* and why we are playing a game about him! (Killer question cards, though! I say we get little cones made up for December!) (b) Nick, although no one brought a minidisc player, your frets were passed out to all the Fegs in attendance. LJ pointed out that they make really good pipecleaners. LJ also seems to have absconded with your totem effigy, that cute little orange quail. I just hope she doesn't have a box of pins and an intimate knowledge of voodoo. . . . (c) Steve! Steve, no one could believe the amount of party favours you sent, and they all went to very good homes! Thank you again! And you will be very happy to know that the box of Cheesy Poofs were, in fact, worshipped. (Actually, several things were alternately worshipped at various times during the evening: the Cheesy Poofs, Natalie's tinfoil creations, Mike Runion's glowing bunny, Bayard's Taper Monolith, and Utility Tom.) (d) Eddie, people *fought* over who got your mixed tape. I mean, their was blood and hair flying everywhere! Additionally, you will get something very strange and vaguely edible in the mail within a week... (e) Jon Fetter -- I don't know what was more surprising, that Bayard actually recognized "Lonely God Potato Twists" and ate them all, or that we all -- ALL of us -- formed a circle and passed around some of your dried Tastee Squid. And. Then. Ate. It. You may also be pleased to know that, thanks to Doug, there was a whole CASE of Yuengling Porter available. We tried to throw the beer bottles at passing members of the law enforcement community, but they were too busy making Natalie late for her plane, and all the empty bottles seemed to vanish rather quickly, anyway. Hmm. Who didn't want any empty bottles hanging around --? (f) Glen Uber -- A lovely letter and picture! Your image was never far from James the Kiwi, and we made many a toast under your happy smiling face! I just hope that we didn't get you drunk enough to fall back into that cavern. . . . and that look on Carol's face: "Why is that giant stuffed Kiwi staring at me, and is it hungry?" Also thanks for the tape - -- it's great! (Nice cover, too.) (g) Dave Lang -- I passed around your wonderful postcard, and the general consensus was that the one with the brain helmet was probably the real you. We also looked for you to incarnate as an inanimate object, but if you did, you were probably either tossed into the fire by Brewer Tom or twisted into Oscar Wilde by Natalie. Sorry, mate. Well, there you have it, and again, thank you very very much to all who helped out in mind, body, and spirit. Especially thanks to LJ, who was an unspeakably wonderful co-host and even wore a tie-dye shirt; to Bayard, who tended the Monolith as if he were truly the Chosen One; to Woj, for picking out such great beer and getting the propane; and to Doug for figuring out how to use my tool-set. Thanks to Natalie, Mike, and Tom, for coming so far to see if we were really as weird as they are; to Chris for the Czech lessons, to J Kat for bringing music *none* of us have ever heard of, to Gene for showing us all a Feg can indeed find a non-Feg mate who will put up with all of us (Yaaay April!); and to Scary Mary for knowing who the Ozric Tentacles are. And one last special thank you for Mike Runion's amazing friend Tom, without whom we would have all been more sober and a lot colder by the river... A wonderful time! I hope we have many others. Next party is at Eb's! -The Great Quail